I'm going to use my real name, but I'm not going to type it in the answers, just because.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
"... needs to pee" (video)
Ok, I've quickly realized that sharing a name with a astrological sign might be hard, I had to look a little lower then the top results.

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
"... looks like love"
Oh yeah baby

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
"... says good-bye to Malibu"
... I hardly knew you

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
"... wants Bar on the cover of Sports Illustrated"
Maybe if I read sports magazines. Or knew who Bar is.

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
"... does it for teh lulz"
Yes, I do!

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
"... taking pix"
Not true

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
"... asks for help crossing the street"
No, I'm a big boy now

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
"... goes online to get his gambling fix"
I found this oddly random...

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search:
"... likes to draw"
That's a journal entry for another day...

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search:
"... LOBSTER AT LOGAN"
Logan... WOLVERINE?!?!?

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search:
"... many hats"
*Puts on his Pirate hat then his Mario hat*

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search
Not the exact wording, but apparently I was arrested for murder. *DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!*