Total Drama DeathMatch
Author notes: I wrote this part after the first season is done. I haven’t some of the episodes, but I read their description on Wikipedia…

*Screen fades back from commercial*

Johnny: And welcome back viewers! If you’re just join us you missed some fights! So far we had-

Chris: Oh enough of the “catch up” things! It’s boring! Look, if you haven’t read the other Total Drama DeathMatch parts, I suggest you look back in Boomer’s gallery, and you read them, then this part will make more sense.

Johnny: *cough cough* Well, I guess that’s a way to say it, so we can skip on to the fight.

Nick: That’s right. We’ve already had 3 of the 4 voted challenge: the male and female matches and the 4 man free for all. Now all we have left is the tag-team match. We’ve already seen Tyler, Harold, Beth, LeShawna, Izzy, Justin, Cody and Owen fight, so who’s in the two teams going in next?

Johnny: Well, the only choices left are DJ, Heather, Geoff, Lindsay, Noah, Bridgette, Katie and Sadie! So let’s see who they wanted in this fight, shall we?

*Bathroom cam*

Heather: This was an easy choice. I can easily get money if I team myself up with someone big and let them do all the fighting, and I just had to put someone weak to go against. I marked me and DJ as a team, then Katie and Sadie as the other, since they look easy enough to beat.

DJ: Man, I really don’t want to fight or hurt anyone, so I didn’t mark myself for any of the fights. For the tag-team thing, I marked down Geoff and Bridge as a team, since they DO like each other, and Katie and Sadie as the other, since as best friends, I think they’d do good.

Noah: Yeah, easy choice to make. I voted for me and DJ to be a team, so he could do all the work for me, then Heather and Lindsay, since they’d probably be the easiest to beat.

Geoff: I really don’t want to fight… But, I think Heather does, so I paired her up with Lindsay. She seemed to like using her on the island.

Bridgette: Let’s see how Heather likes being on a team with Lindsay. HA! They’d probably try to kill each other instead.

Sadie (in the stall with Katie): Oh my god Katie! Think we’ll be in the tag team match?

Katie: I sure hope so, I voted for us to be!

Sadie: Really? Me too!

Katie & Sadie: YAAAAAY!!!

Lindsay: … *silence for a good 10 seconds* Oh, is this not a regular bathroom stall? Crap… can we turn off the camera quickly?

*Bathroom cam ends*

Johnny: We’ll this looks interesting…

Nick: With two deaths promised in this, it’s going to be!

Chris: AH! You people are worse then ME! Let’s just get to the fight!

Johnny: Can do! As we already let dropped earlier before the Beth and LeShawna fight, Heather was the one with the most votes to participate in this fight. And she’s been partnered to fight with her former alliance member: Lindsay!

Lindsay: WHAT! I don’t even like Heather anymore!

Heather: Great, I just hope she doesn’t punch herself in the face accidentally…

Chris: I guess that’s karma for you Heather! Anyways, they’ll be up against the most natural team up from the island that ISN’T a couple going out, the BFFFLs, Sadie and Katie!

Katie & Sadie: YYYAAAAAAYY!!!

*Everyone gets in the ring*

Mills: Now, I want a good clean fight. Two of you aren’t coming out of the ring, and two of you hopefully are, but I can’t guarantee the two who are will all be in one piece. Alright, well, let’s get it on!

*Ding ding*

Heather: Alright Lindsay, I don’t like you, and you don’t like me…

Lindsay: Right, so fight for yourself!

Heather: WHAT?

Johnny: OH! Devastating blow to Heather’s plan.

Nick: It may not have drawn blood, but we can tell Heather is shooken up!

Katie: Alright Sadie, so which did you say was your friend after I got voted off.

Sadie: Lindsay, the one with the blonde hair. I don’t want to fight her, I like her…

Katie: Ok, then I will. You can get Heather!

Sadie: Yay!

Lindsay: Sounds like someone wants to talk to you Heather!

*Lindsay pushes Heather towards Sadie. Sadie punches Heather in the face when she gets close enough.*

Sadie: Apparently you don’t realise that I’m so strong I ACCIDENTALLY knock out Katie with a pillow once.

Heahter: I bet you just put your weight into it. Besides, you’re probably going to get winded while fighting me FATie.

Sadie: Oh, I HATE fat jokes!

*Sadie picks up Heather by the shirt and shorts and launches her into the ring post, which bends back a bit.*

Nick: Oh no! … That ring post is hard to replace!

Lindsay: Hehehe, this team up is actually working out great!

Katie: Oh, I wouldn’t be to happy if I were you!

*Lindsay turns around, sees a mad Katie with two fists. Lindsay gets struck with fear and bolts screaming, much like she did when Chef was hunting her with the water gun. Katie stops chasing Lindsay after a while and gets on one foot and starts spinning in place, like she did in her audition video.*

Nick: What is she doing?

Johnny: It looks like she’s charging an attack.

Chris: Looks like Sonic…

*Katie keeps spinning faster and faster, with Lindsay watching confused. After Katie starting going at her top speed, she launches herself at Lindsay. She gets a kick rotation that sends her into the ropes, and then bounces into a ring post. Meanwhile, Heather is just recovering from her injury and looks at what just happened.*

Heather: Lindsay, can’t you fight?

Sadie: Didn’t the same thing just happen to you?

*Heather looks up and sees Sadie over her. She panics and kicks her in the stomach. After that, she gets up and starts running for her life to the other side of the ring. Sadie catches her breath again and then runs after her. She catches her and gives her a giant bear hug.*

Sadie: Hard to get out of all this FAT, Right skinny girl?

Heather: UURRKK!!!

*Heather starts turning red and looks about ready to explode. She struggles to get free, but doesn’t. However, all her swinging around makes her hair flap in Sadie’s face. This tickles Sadie’s nose and makes her sneeze powerfully enough to launch Heather into the ropes, then bounce back and hit into Sadie. She flies a bit back and even lands on Katie. After Katie goes down, Lindsay gets back up and goes to Heather.*

Lindsay: Yay! We won!

Heather: What do you mean, “we”?

Lindsay: Well, the other team is down, and we’re left…

Heather: Yeah, but you told me to fight for myself, and it WAS me who took down both of them!

Lindsay: But the rules say that we BOTH win if they go down.

Heather: Well then the rules are as stupid as YOU!

Lindsay: Hey! Don’t say the rules are stupid!

*Lindsay grabs Heather by the hair. After that Heather repays the favour and grabs Lindsay’s hair.*

Heather: I know you’re afraid of bad haircuts! I’ll give you one!

Lindsay: I am! The one you had when you got to resort was TRAUMATISING!

*Heather and Lindsay continue to pull on each other’s hair, but with out a single pluck. Eventually, Heather gets the idea to head-butt Lindsay. When she does, Lindsay lets go and goes down.*

Heahter: Hehe, now you’re mine!

*Heather gets over Lindsay and start pummelling her. After taking enough abuse, Lindsay wraps her legs around Heather’s neck and makes her arch her back.*

Heather: Oh crap…

*Heather’s eyes get big when she sees Katie and Sadie standing over them.*

Johnny: Looks like they weren’t as out as Heather and Lindsay though…

Lindsay: Get off! GET OFF!

Heather: I can’t, you’re LEGS are stopping me!

Katie: Let me help out a bit!

*Katie grabs Lindsay’s legs and Heather’s head and pushes them downwards, to the point that Heather’s face and Lindsay’s legs are both touching Lindsay’s face.*

Heather: …this is uncomfortable…

Lindsay: I hope no one can see up my skirt.

Katie: That’s the least of your problems right now.

*Katie and Sadie start to push the two, who now look like a ball. They roll them around the ring gaining speed. Then, with one last push, they make the two roll up the bent ring post. They fly out the ring, separate in the air, and then land one on top of each other, disorientated.*

Heather: Whoa… what the…?

Sadie: Our turn to jump out now!

*Sadie and Katie hold hands and skip to the corner of the ring. They balance on the ropes then cannon ball off. Heather turns around on top of Lindsay and sees what’s coming.*

Lindsay: Ugh… what’s going on Heather?

Heather: Oh… my… god…

*Sadie and Katie fall onto Heather and Lindsay, the two get squished under their combined weight. The bell dings and Sadie and Katie meet Mills in the middle.*

Mills: The girls in the striped shirts are the winners!

Sadie & Katie: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

*The girls get so excited they kiss each other, look at each other with big shocked eyes afterwards.*

Johnny: Well… looks like someone got a little over excite about their victory.

Chris: Nah, I doubt that, I knew there was something more between them then they let on.

Johnny: Right… anyways, we’ll be back after a word from our sponsors!

*static, bathroom cams*

Noah: I was supposed to win a fight. Another one of my plans didn’t work, this doesn’t make sense…

DJ: Phew, I didn’t have to fight.

Goeff: Now that fight was awesome! Wait to win girls!

Bridgette: Heather getting squished, now that’s entertainment.

*screen fades to commercials*